my life suck cuz my parents dont realli care…
how is this even possible? i really just want them to come to a graduation ceremony :/ well i guess im just gonna give up since begging doesnt work in life..
whats at the end of the road? no one knows, but i’ll be gettin there. to explore wts realli beautiful in my life(: hang on for a while and i’ll be living another life. dont put ur expectations too high, cuz it might be even worse. but give it a chance and have faith(;
Why can other ppl hurt me, when i feel so bad hurting them a bit?
I’ve always been worrying about everything. Everything.
before i decide on doing one thing, i think about the consequences.. thts y i always end up not gettin to enjoy and do the thing i wanted to do. this weird personality of mine keeps me away of hvin fun ): it makes me a realli negative, depressing girl..
but today. ive made up my mine for no reason, for once i have the guts to stand up for myself(: finally i revenged for my fragile heart </3 finally i stopped myself of gettin hurt from other people since im very afraid of making them mad. i realize who made me like who i am before made me mad, so mad that ive got numb, tht i dont even remember to solve the problem as i always think wt will happen if i poured my feelings out to tht person. i would still have to see tht person every single day. so am i gonna fight everyday in the future? but now its not the problem i hv to solve. tht person is the one tht made me like this. so why not make it right?i pissed tht person off today, honestly, i felt good.. i see tht person in the situation that ive been in for ages, seeing tht person feeling wt tortured me feels good.. i might be selfish.. but who isnt? everyone wants to be the best, get the best things.. for some they just dont ask for too much. for some they snatch opportunities from others. and thts who im dealing with.. :/ for years and years ive been cleaning up the mess tht person left.. and now i will not, NOT do it anymore. im sick of being depressed and this is the new beginning of my life(: life could be bad, could be good, it realli is just my decision to make. and now i am choosing to begin with a very new self, to be happi. like this rose, life could be colorful, ive been in black n white for too long. its time to meet the fun ones(:
its not like i would change physically like cut my hair n change is styles, but mentally, deep inside my heart.. im changing the way i think, the things i do, what i feel and dont feel..if what it takes is loosing the person tht destroyed me, why care if i could hv a better life?(: